The car was bad enough. Having a large black car announcing that you'd moved in upstairs is enough of a sign, right? You couldn't miss it. It wasn't like I could be entering my home and not somehow miss the big black car that announced things had changed. I didn't need any more than that and so I was very unhappy indeed when I saw the bicycle. It hit me like a marching band.
The entrance hall to the flats is quite large. Plenty big enough to have two bicycles separated by distance and that's how any normal person would separate bicycles. With distance. So when I saw the bicycle leaning on my bicycle I was... I couldn't even believe it. When I saw the bicycle leaning upon my bicycle I just couldn't believe it.
Previous evening I'd been listening to the guy upstairs and it was a guy. Just one guy. I was certain. I'd been listening to him move about a run taps and sometime sing as I wrote an email to claim back some PPI, whatever that is. I've been getting a lot of emails urging me to do this and while I suspect it's a scam I can't really see how I can lose anything, apart from some time. I'm not going to tell them my bank details. Or send them any money to get things started. It's no win, no fee. So I was carefully drafting my response and listening and, yeah, there was only one human upstairs. And that human was male.
The bicycle leaning on my bicycle was a female's bicycle. It was white and had a basket on it.
I didn't consider the implications of the sex of the bike at that moment. I was too going mental. later, while cycling to work I wondered if it meant a whole family were going to move in upstairs, in drips and drabs, but in the heat of the moment when I saw the bike leaning against my bike I only considered running up to the top floor and banging on the door but not really and so I did what I had to do. I had to move the bicycle and make sure it really looked like it had been moved. To simply move his bicycle, to then move my bicycle and then replace his bicycle would prove nothing and so I got hold of his bicycle by the bars and saddle and looked around for the most awkward place I could place it. The bicycle was heavy and I wondered if I could somehow hang it upside down somewhere but of course I couldn't and so I left it right at the bottom of the stairs. When I leant it on the wall with its front wheel sticking out it began to fall and so I grabbed it. I respect other people's stuff and I didn't want it getting scratched. I just wanted to send out a message. Don't fuck with me, was the message I wanted to send out. So with a bit of balancing I got it to stand at the bottom of the stairs with its front wheel blocking half the stairs. The guy was going to be in for a shock when he came down. He'd see the bike in its new position and feel like a dick because he'd know he'd caused trouble. Moved in for two days and already causing trouble. What an asshole.
I didn't consider the implications of the sex of the bike at that moment. I was too going mental. later, while cycling to work I wondered if it meant a whole family were going to move in upstairs, in drips and drabs, but in the heat of the moment when I saw the bike leaning against my bike I only considered running up to the top floor and banging on the door but not really and so I did what I had to do. I had to move the bicycle and make sure it really looked like it had been moved. To simply move his bicycle, to then move my bicycle and then replace his bicycle would prove nothing and so I got hold of his bicycle by the bars and saddle and looked around for the most awkward place I could place it. The bicycle was heavy and I wondered if I could somehow hang it upside down somewhere but of course I couldn't and so I left it right at the bottom of the stairs. When I leant it on the wall with its front wheel sticking out it began to fall and so I grabbed it. I respect other people's stuff and I didn't want it getting scratched. I just wanted to send out a message. Don't fuck with me, was the message I wanted to send out. So with a bit of balancing I got it to stand at the bottom of the stairs with its front wheel blocking half the stairs. The guy was going to be in for a shock when he came down. He'd see the bike in its new position and feel like a dick because he'd know he'd caused trouble. Moved in for two days and already causing trouble. What an asshole.
I checked my bicycle for scratches but there were none. It had only been the seat of his bike that had been touching my bike but it could have fallen and then there'd be damaging metal on metal action. I nearly knocked his bike over wheeling mine out but caught it in time and leaning my bike on my hip I balanced his bike again, a bit more firmly this time, a bit less precariously. I had to straighten the front wheel so it wasn't blocking the stairs so much but it still sent out a message. The bike was on a different wall. As well as thinking about how many people were going to move in upstairs as I cycled to work I also hoped his bike wouldn't fall over. I didn't think it would. I hoped it wouldn't. That would be too much.
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